Ironically, my least favorite class this semester is creative writing. The main reason being the fact that we hardly write anything. There are two projects for the entire semester, but we don’t really work on them or anything like that. Every Tuesday night I have to fight with myself to actually go to class and pretend to pay attention. This past Tuesday was no different. I ended up going to class and leaving with something semi-impactful. We were talking about how frustrating the writing process can be and my teacher said:
“if something is feeling frustrating, stick with it, because it gets better and usually ends up being worth it.”
My mind immediately jumped to my senior project. Right now, I hate my senior project. I am frustrated with the process and what is expected and the lack of context and nearly everything else about it. I am illustrating the book of Jonah, for crying out loud! I should be enjoying this like none other! But instead I am frustrated and bored.
After listening to my creative writing teacher talk, I realized that I need to just push through on my senior project. I know, deep down, it will be worth it, but right now it seems hopeless and worthless. I know that in the end I will be glad to have illustrated the book of Jonah and have that final book as a part of my portfolio. It is tough and I don’t want to work, but I know it is worth it.
Similarly, my relationship with God feels the same way. Currently, I am frustrated with myself, and God, for how our relationship is going. I know I haven’t put forth much of an effort, but I just don’t want to right now. It is almost like I am tired of the way I have encountered God in past and I want something new and different. I have talked about it before, the valley of life, and how we cannot expect to live a life that full of a constant closeness-feeling to God.
Just as with my senior project and creative writing class, there is work involved in following and pursuing God. Right now, I need to push through the frustration because I know, in the end, ultimately, forever and always, God loves me and that is why the pursuit is worth it.
So I leave with this, my heart, on my sleeve, and a hope that yours is too. Let’s be honest about frustration and come together to build one another up and remind each other that the pursuit and process is well worth