good advice from a terrible teacher

Ironically, my least favorite class this semester is creative writing. The main reason being the fact that we hardly write anything. There are two projects for the entire semester, but we don’t really work on them or anything like that. Every Tuesday night I have to fight with myself to actually go to class and pretend to pay attention. This past Tuesday was no different. I ended up going to class and leaving with something semi-impactful. We were talking about how frustrating the writing process can be and my teacher said:

“if something is feeling frustrating, stick with it, because it gets better and usually ends up being worth it.”

My mind immediately jumped to my senior project. Right now, I hate my senior project. I am frustrated with the process and what is expected and the lack of context and nearly everything else about it. I am illustrating the book of Jonah, for crying out loud! I should be enjoying this like none other! But instead I am frustrated and bored.

After listening to my creative writing teacher talk, I realized that I need to just push through on my senior project. I know, deep down, it will be worth it, but right now it seems hopeless and worthless. I know that in the end I will be glad to have illustrated the book of Jonah and have that final book as a part of my portfolio. It is tough and I don’t want to work, but I know it is worth it.

Similarly, my relationship with God feels the same way. Currently, I am frustrated with myself, and God, for how our relationship is going. I know I haven’t put forth much of an effort, but I just don’t want to right now. It is almost like I am tired of the way I have encountered God in past and I want something new and different. I have talked about it before, the valley of life, and how we cannot expect to live a life that full of a constant closeness-feeling to God.

Just as with my senior project and creative writing class, there is work involved in following and pursuing God. Right now, I need to push through the frustration because I know, in the end, ultimately, forever and always, God loves me and that is why the pursuit is worth it.

So I leave with this, my heart, on my sleeve, and a hope that yours is too. Let’s be honest about frustration and come together to build one another up and remind each other that the pursuit and process is well worth

commitment

The other night, I pulled an all-nighter. It was my first one of the semester, so it had been a while since the last one. The reason for the all-nighter was to finish a project due the next day; a stationary set. I knew what I wanted to do, changed my mind a few times and then ultimately stayed up screenprinting all night. To be honest, it was great. The next day, I finished the last little bits, built a box, cut out the prints and packaged everything together. The presentation looked very professional and a lot of the other students’ stuff was blown out of the water. I didn’t need to do all this, but I did. Why?

Because I made a commitment to myself that I would be proud of every piece of art I make this semester, would put myself into every piece, and give 100% to every project. No slacking, even if it means losing sleep.

Since I made this commitment, I have seen my art get better, as well as my critiques go better. I am more confident in crits and in each piece. I am creating work that doesn’t wear me out, but instead gets me even more excited to make more work. It is a great cycle. But, committing fully to this “art covenant” has been tough. I have wanted to give up and turn in something half finished or hap-hazardly crafted, but I know that is not acceptable.

What would my life look like if I lived my life similarly, but with a 100% commitment to Christ? What would it look like to lose sleep over furthering that commitment and keeping true to it? How much better would life be?

I want to make a new commitment. I commit that I will commit everything I do to YHWH, I will stand firm in sound theology and seek Him 100%. I will make Him the center of my life and give thanks knowing I cannot make the things I make or be the person I am without Christ. I will try to have every conversation, piece of art, song or anything else, either explicitly or subtly, preach the Gospel and always point to Christ. No slacking, even if it means losing friends or sleep.

So I leave you with this; a question: can you commit? no matter what?

Creation & The Creator

[a shorter post, but i figured it was simple enough to not need a lot of words]

For one of my classes this semester, we are illustrating/designing skateboards. Each of us got to pick a company and design for them, sticking in line with their style, but also evolving it for what might be best next year. I chose a Christian company called Untitled, out of Joplin, Missouri. I liked their style and could see my style falling in line with what might be good for them in the future. Plus, I like to do Biblically based illustrations, so why not do it for class?!

I struggled with what to illustrate and eventually decided on Psalm One because it seemed easy. I did some sketches, but continued to brainstorm. Eventually I arrived at the perfect idea: Noah’s Ark. I could draw a crap ton of animals [a new passion] and add some sweet textures and stuff and make something I am really proud of.

I began drawing. Bears, elephants, lions. And then I got to the giraffes. Now, we all know that giraffes are funny looking animals that are simply awkward. I struggled with drawing but eventually got the form right and moved on to coloring.

Here is where the fun begins.

As I studied giraffes to draw, I noticed that their spots look very thought out and placed, almost on a grid of sorts. I gave each giraffe a base color and then drew radial lines of a point near the giraffe and made some makeshift grids. I then traced the negative spaces and thus made the spots. It was so much fun. I was laughing and smiling and just enjoying the process of making the giraffe. I stepped back and saw what I had made: a couple of rag-tag giraffes.

I bet God is the same way. We hear over and over again that The Creator loves His creation. Each day that it was created, God declared it “good.” He enjoyed making and was pleased when He could sit back and look at what had been made. I imagine that He laughed the same way I did when creating a giraffe.

And the giraffe was good. We are very good. Just imagine the smiling and laughing and excitement when our finishing touches where made and life was breathed into us. That is way cooler than gridded spots.

So I leave you with this, a challenge, to never forget that you are very good. There was much rejoicing by the Trinity when you were made. There was laughing and smiling and joy. We are made in God’s image and that is very good.